“Just let it go,” you say to yourself… “just let it go!” The “it” might be a favorite sweater that no longer fits you, but it has all the memories of many years of comfort. The “it” might be a behavior you want to change. You have tried so many times and it still comes back. Why, you might ask yourself. As a youngster, a child absorbed her mother’s many fears, especially of the ocean and high up in the mountains. A student, while gifted in the creative arts, graduated from high school feeling very dumb because he couldn’t seem to get the high grades in his academic classes. Each one of us has our own list of “issues” that we know we need to “work on” but still cannot seem to get around to doing anything about it or have tried and tried, only to come back to the same starting place!
On another scale, often what we want/need to let go of is buried in the unconscious. Even though we may experience a feeling or exhibit a behavior, we just can’t put our finger on where it is coming from and what is going on within. Keeping something tucked away deep within oneself not only doesn’t serve the person, but it ties up an enormous amount of energy – for no good purpose that we can fathom, other than to keep the status quo.
So, where does all this “stuff” come from? Much of it has been with us for a very long time. Because it is so familiar it makes it even harder to identify and act on doing something about it. Think about your family history, your ancestors, their lives, their beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors. Your ancestral roots come with you. Has anyone in your family ever said to you, “you remind me of your great grandfather, he used to …” and you wonder how that attitude or behavior could be manifesting itself through you – he was long gone before you were even thought of!
The next level of “stuff” relates directly to your time in your mother’s womb. That entire experience, whether joyous, painful, difficult or easy, carries its own suitcase of “stuff.” Some of the basic questions include whether or not you were “wanted.” What is your parents relationship like during this time, was there alcohol or drugs use, were you adored and pampered, put up for adoption? The amount of knowledge we experience at all levels is huge! It is knowledge and experience that we carry at a very deep, still unconscious level – until it shows its face some time during your lifetime…
The third level of “stuff” that we all share is our life experience – once we are here. What are our parents like, what kind of a relationship do they have with each other? Were they adoring, loving, kind, gentle? What sort of lessons have you leaned since your birth? All of those lessons, whether you accept them or not, whether they are at the conscious or unconscious levels or not, are a part of who you are now, today.
A brief talk story to illustrate the imprints of these lessons… When I was growing up my mother pointed out all the fat women she saw and said, “If you aren.t careful, you will look just like that!” At home, dinner was very formal with my father dishing up everyone’s food. As you might expect, we were expected to clean our plates, and of course I did as I was told. Unconsciously, I fulfilled her prophecy. In denial, I took great care in how I dressed, walked, presented myself, etc. One day when I was in my 50s, as we were walking together down the street she said, “you don’t walk like a fat woman.” I was flabbergasted, embarrassed and hurt. There is much more to this story – but this short segment illustrates how easily and unconsciously our lessons are learned. Once revealed, we can then begin the workout to change the unconscious power they have over us.
What I have learned over the years is that my knowing about a situation, a habit, what worked/didn’t work in my life doesn’t change just because I am now aware. So, I did, over time, loose much of the weight… but I still carried the imprint of the mandates and judgments I learned as I grew up. I have learned new ways of working with my “stuff” over the years and in my work. We all carry this same challenge as we move through the various stages of our lives. These experiences, whether buried in the unconscious or well known, carry us through our lives. Most often they are so deeply held and the imprints are so strong that we must find new ways to move them into new ways of serving us or telling them goodbye.
It is your time to “Live Your Stuff” – bringing your stuff into the light and making the important decisions that will free you up to live your life fully… if “stuff” needs to be gone, then let it go… if it needs to be an integral part of your current life, then embrace it and give it the energy it needs to serve you fully. Working with this process will provide you the tools to access within – embracing what serves you and letting go of that which you no longer need. You will experience a new level of freedom, freedom to see, to feel, to decide and, to act on your behalf, taking charge of your life!
You are the director, the actor and the audience of your life, your stuff – to live your life fully, bring your stuff onto the stage, watch the play of the past, present and future. You are free to reap the rewards of outstanding directorship, of being a fully engaged cast, and an audience full of gratitude and joy at the outcome!
Allow me to guide you into this process of “Living Your Stuff!” I serve as your Guide. You are the Director of your own process of change and renewal. Don’t let another moment go by with out stepping into this realm, saying goodbye to the old while you shake hands with your NEW Self you.
Join Diane and set yourself free…
Diane leads “Living Your Stuff” workshops, on-going support groups and is available for private sessions throughout the year. She will have a booth at the Wellness Expo in February 2014. She is available to travel to other islands and the mainland to lead workshops and set up support groups. Email or call her to find out more… Diane Guidici http://www.heartlinehealing.com 808.821.1940 or 520.907.3951
“Living Your Stuff” Published in Hawaii’s Inspiration Journal, Winter 2014